Mindful awareness combined with attachment theory helps us to look at ‘shoulds’ through a different lens. The first layer we see of a ‘should’ is that it is a judgment; we are labeling something that happened in the past as wrong, negative, or intolerable. The second layer is related to judgment, being defensive and protective. Mindfulness can help soften the ‘shoulds.’ Bring awareness to what you are feeling and thinking. Bring in curiosity to what you may be avoiding. Notice judgment, put it aside and get curious about what else is going on.

Most people try to intellectually analyze the thoughts hoping to ‘solve’ the circulating thoughts so they will stop. But how would we know if our analysis with a solution is right or wrong if we don’t even know if the thought is accurate to begin with? By putting space between our thoughts and reality, becoming aware of what we are feeling and how the emotion is influencing our thought patterns, we can decrease the discomfort from intrusive thought patterns.

While therapy that brings awareness and tools that can be applied to your physiological state our four legged canine friends can help you regulate your nervous system outside of the therapy room.    Their unconditional love for their caretakers, their non judgemental presence and the joy they can bring from just watching them do something endearing can shift your nervous system, even if it is a brief shift, into parasympathetic, where there is a sense of ease and calm.