There is a ripple effect of judgment that goes beyond just the person being judged. The judgments shape our entire social environment, can damage relationships by creating distance or making others feel inadequate, can limit our growth and perspective by keeping us stuck in rigid thinking, and prevent us from learning and evolving.

Mindful awareness combined with attachment theory helps us to look at ‘shoulds’ through a different lens. The first layer we see of a ‘should’ is that it is a judgment; we are labeling something that happened in the past as wrong, negative, or intolerable. The second layer is related to judgment, being defensive and protective. Mindfulness can help soften the ‘shoulds.’ Bring awareness to what you are feeling and thinking. Bring in curiosity to what you may be avoiding. Notice judgment, put it aside and get curious about what else is going on.